Spirituality
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These Toxic Parenting Tactics Are Still Viewed As “Normal”, But People Are Finally Criticizing Them

We know that parenting is hard and there is no to always draw the line between what is good parenting and what is bad parenting. Yet within the grey area in between, enough grown adults have learned better than to repeat their parents' tactics. While maybe these tactics were viewed as "normal" because they were simply passed on from generation to generation and everyone else was doing it, the kids have grown up and they are now speaking out against them.

While the goal is not to criticizing their parents, here is why certain normalized tactics can actually turn out to have real toxic effects as shared by those grown kids on Reddit.

Venting To A Child

little girl doing dishes with her dad with water running

CDC / Unsplash

"Telling your kids your personal problems. Like, 'Your dad is horrible; he didn't even do the dishes. I hate my marriage.' Your kids are not your therapist. Also, they can't do anything to solve your problem. Instead, address your issues with your spouse and a therapist." Desiger_jpg

Kids absorb everything you tell them like a sponge. If you constantly complain about something, they might interpret it as "bad." They could start acting out against their dad, or be unreasonably afraid of certain situations because they don't want to disappoint you or replicate your feelings.

Preventing Their Failure

little girl chases bubbles in the park

Leo Rivas / Unsplash

"Being overly protective. If you don't let your kids fail or protect them too much, they'll be less capable of doing so once they've left home. Failure is good; just provide a safety net." - MyrddinWyllt

Experience is the greatest teacher. No amount of pep talks will ever truly prepare a child to face the world. They need to see it for themselves and carve their own path. If parents protect their children from everything, they'll just be lost as adults and be shocked by the hardships of the world.

Giving Love Conditions

mom hugs little boy by carrying him

Xavier Mouton Photographie / Unsplash

"The old 'as long as I'm feeding you, clothing you, you'll do what I say!' Or the 'just be grateful I put a roof over your head. Especially If your parents constantly use that sentence to boss you around, disregard your opinions and wants, and belittle you. You didn't ask to be born. And it's their obligation to take care of you, not something they should loom over your head as leverage." - izzypy71c

Such statements can make a child feel like love has to be earned and isn't just deserved. These children might grow up to end up bending over backward for people who don't deserve it, and take advantage of it, just because they think that that's the only way they'll ever be loved.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Taking Away Privacy

teen woman  with red hair drinks out of mug as she writes in journal

Good Faces / Unsplash

"Violating their privacy will almost certainly do more harm than good to their mental health, trust, and their relationship to you. It doesn't matter if it's installing spyware on their phones, tracking their movements, or taking away their bedroom door." - SinkTube

Kids need to be given the space to build their independence. They need to learn that they deserve to be treated as their own individuals, trusted to make decisions, and loved enough to make their own space in a world where they're going to always be watched by everyone else.

Denying Kids Their Feelings

little boy crying while sitting by the window

Marcos Paulo Prado / Unsplash

"Invalidating their kids' emotions, be it ignoring or shutting them down." - GABBA_GH0UL

Just because they can't put their feelings into words, as they haven't had enough experience to know how to and cry up a storm instead, doesn't mean that their feelings aren't real and valid. Rather than simply attempt to make the crying stop, and punish them for it, parents should take the time to understand the cause. Then they can actually reassure their child and calmly teach them that it may not warrant the level at which they're upset.

Comparing Siblings

" The good old, 'Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?' does nothing for their self-esteem and really can keep them from becoming their own person. That's all they should be anyway — themselves, not their siblings."

Not only does this teach the kid to assess their worth by comparing to others for the rest of their lives, and still never feeling like they're enough, but it also risks creating a sense of rivalry between the siblings instead of uniting them as a family.

Do You Struggle To Love And Be Loved?

woman sits on the floor leaning by the window looking sad

Anthony Tran / Unsplash

​There is no denying that the way you were taught love by your parents during your childhood, will impact the way that you try to find love as an adult. Yet, you don't have to let your parents' mistakes, when they used the wrong tactics even with good intentions, now dictate the mistakes you make when you try to find a loving partner. Click here to find out how to break the cycle.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

Uplifting

Homeless Man Found Long-Lost Sister After 20 Years, But That Wasn't Even The Miracle

You know what the best part of hardships is? It's the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dim, or even nonexistent it may seem for a while, it's always there, waiting for you at your destination.

Logan's story didn't see the light for a whole 20 years, which for the young man was a whole lifetime. Yet, he didn't let life's hardest tests get him down and he always held on to the hope of finding that light, till one day he did. He thought reuniting with his lost sister would be the light he was looking for this whole time. Except his sister was already living with her own family at that point...

To find the light at the end of your tunnel, you need to understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future. Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now.

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Life Was Hard From The Very Beginning

Hunt as a young kid smiling while sitting in dining room chair

USA Today / Youtube

Logan's hardships started from the day he was born. For whatever reason, his parents didn't feel fit to raise him, so he was put up for adoption when he was just a toddler. Not all kids get lucky and get adopted when they get put in the system.

Unfortunately for Logan, no family wanted to keep him and he was sent from one foster home to the next until he reached the age of 18. Considered an adult, he aged out of the system and had no choice but to become homeless. All he had ever wanted was a family but instead, he grew up his whole life feeling alone.

A Social Worker Who Cared

files drawer with hundred of files from vabinet

Maksym Kaharlytskyi / Unsplash

Fortunately, all it takes to make a difference in someone's life is finding one person who cares. For Logan, it was his social worker. Once his 11 years in the foster care system were up, Logan's caseworker was determined to find him a good place to live. So far, all his living arrangements had been temporary, and he had never had a place to call home. For a time, Logan even lived in his car.

Looking carefully through his files, they discovered that Logan actually had a biological sister named Shyann who was already living with a good family. The caseworker hoped and prayed that the family would also take an interest in Logan, so she called up Shyan's adoptive mother.

Logan Was Deemed To Be "Toxic"

Logan and his sister hug when reunited

USA Today / Youtube

The caseworker was hoping Robert and Ara Hunt, Shyanna's parents would welcome Logan but that wasn't the case. The family already had 3 adopted children and they were afraid that Logan would disrupt the dynamic that they had created for their family.

Logan's sister was 12 years old at the time and the family was afraid that her biological homeless brother, who was living in a car, would be toxic to their family. In an interview, tey explained: : “We wanted nothing to do with him. We didn’t know anything about him. We were afraid.”

A Television Segment That Reflected The Truth

Logan sitting in interview chair

USA Today / Youtube

You wouldn't think that television is where you'd find the truth and have your whole perspective changed but that was the case for Logan.

The Hunt family saw a local television segment about Logan's journey out of foster cre and it completely changed their mind on the young man. That piece changed the father Robert Hunt’s mind about the 18-year-old. The father said in an interview: “I was just knocked down. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, and I saw the good character in him."

If you're looking for a sign on whether you need a change then you're here for a reason This is your sign. Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out how you can take control of your career path

From Tragedy To Blessings

car crashed from he side with the plate hanging off

Michael Jin / Unsplash

Up until then, Logan had known nothing but rejection. He told USA Today how the constant rejection that his life made him feel “empty” and “alone," and he felt as though he had “nothing to look forward to.”

Right when Logan thought his life couldn't get worse, he got into a car accident. Yet, he had no idea that this tragedy would turn into a blessing too. Ara went to go visit him in the hospital, and she ended up bringing him home with her. He had no idea another miracle would be waiting for him at her home.

Happily More After

People Magazine

Logan went back to meet his sister and her newfound family thinking the reunion itself would be his miracle while he recovered from the accident. He believed his stay with the family would be temporary just like all his past ones.

As he bonded with the family, Logan fit right in. It didn't take long before the Hunt family performed a second miracle and decided to start the process of adopting Logan! It was finally Logan's chance to reach the light of the end of the tunnel and become part of a family just like he always wanted.

New Beginnings

Logan's life at almost 20 years old was just starting. After 13 years of temporary living arrangements, he finally found his forever home. It turns out that hope and patience were all he needed and the universe had a plan for him all along.

These kinds of stories can happen to anyone. You might think you're never going to catch a break, but there's a light waiting for you too. Are you still searching for your life purpose? You won't believe what the science of Numerology can reveal about you

The numerology of your birth date, regardless of what month you were born, can reveal surprising information about your personality and that's. a good place to start.

Unlock the messages hidden in your Personality Code now with your free personalized video report. Click HERE to learn what Numerology says about your life using only your Name and Birth Date.