5 Commons Behaviors That Keep You From Finding The Right Person

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No matter who you are, if you’re a human being, then connecting and forming close bonds with other people is a priority in your life.

Even those of us who are more shy or introverted still need at least a few good friends and companions in our lives for support and joy.

Here are 5 common behaviors that keep you from finding and connecting with your people.

1. Egotism or conceitedness.

A woman taking a selfie on her phone.
Unsplash / Obi – @pixel7propix
Unsplash / Obi – @pixel7propix

It doesn’t take much for new acquaintances to see when someone is conceited.

If you find yourself out in a social setting and realize at some point that you’ve done nothing but talk about yourself and tell flattering stories in regards to your own life, you probably have an ego problem and need to take interest in something or someone else.

Nobody wants to be part of a one-sided relationship, and this behavior will be a major red flag to anyone thinking of spending time with you.

2. Self-absorption.

It’s important to have respect and love for yourself in order to be a healthy person, but when your preferences, desires and needs always come before even a thought of anyone else, you’re probably pretty self-absorbed and you need to change your perception.

It’s okay to do things for yourself, but you need to leave room to think of others too.

You’re not the only one who deserves input or acknowledgment. Take others into account and let them actively participate in your interactions.

3. Self-righteousness.

Everyone has their own ideas and beliefs about how the world does or should work and how people should be, but it’s never a good idea to get so caught up in your stubborn ideals that you can’t listen to a different perspective.

Forging connections with others is all about making an effort to understand someone else, and that includes perspectives and opinions that may even totally oppose your own.

You’ll be a better person for it, and you’re likely to make some incredibly interesting friends this way. Stick to your convictions if you like, but don’t be haughty and arrogant about it.

4. Whining.

When you’re going through a rough patch there’s nothing wrong with needing to vent a little here and there, that’s a normal human reaction to stress.

But there is a problem when you can find something to complain about at any time whatsoever.

It doesn’t make you discerning to complain about inconsequential things, it makes you boring and miserable to be around.

There’s also nothing fun or pleasant about somebody who whines constantly, even about a legitimate issue, if they refuse to look for a real solution or take any action to fix it.

5. Apathy and/or lethargy.

While it’s perfectly alright not to be the biggest social butterfly in the room if people feel like getting you to do things or join them outside of your house is like pulling teeth, they’re eventually going to stop trying at all.

If when you do show up to functions or events, you seem bored and give lackluster single-word contributions to every conversation you’re invited into, nobody wants to be around that.

If they can’t get you to care about anything in conversation, they’ll think that you don’t care about them either, and trying to pull someone out of their apathy is exhausting and painful.

It’s your job to find a new attitude, not theirs to entertain you enough to change it.

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Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives