Using These 9 Phrases Often Means You’re ‘More Emotionally Secure,’ Says Harvard Psychologist

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Words are a powerful thing, with even a few very carefully selected words having the power to upend entire conversations, situations, and dynamics. They hold immense strength and can be used to either uplift or put down anyone around you, and that includes yourself.

A Harvard-trained psychologist shared a few phrases that indicate someone is very confident with themselves emotionally, allowing others to either find reassurance or inspiration for their own feelings of self-reliance.

Phrases like these may seem rare in those who struggle with confidence issues, but things don't have to stay that way. You can overcome the doubts that plague you starting today with the right help.

A great place to start is with this quick, free audio program that's meant to attack your negative thinking patterns and open your brain up to more positive input. Take a listen today and watch your confidence levels skyrocket!

First Impressions

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Besides appearances, one of the first means we have for assessing (or judging) another person is by the way they speak. Do they sound confident and direct, or shy and sweet? Do they give long and thoughtful answers, or are they more of the listening type? Sometimes even the phrases they use are enough to make a judgement call.

In a piece for CNBC, Dr. Cortney Warren, a board-certified psychologist trained at Harvard Medical School, wrote about nine phrases that indicate someone is "more emotionally secure than most." See if you're among that crowd by reading on.

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1. "I'll Work On That."

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Emotionally stable individuals are able to adapt when needed within their relationships. They understand that proactive changes are vital for personal growth and nurturing strong connections. Recognizing the value of continuous improvement, they invest effort in evolving themselves, fostering not only their own development but also enriching the bonds they share with others.

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Their willingness to transform proves their commitment and respect for those around them, creating a positive ripple effect that enhances both their lives and the lives of others.

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2. "How Can I Help?"

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In relationships, emotionally secure peoples' empathetic and non-judgmental approach makes them excellent sources of support. They grasp that a person's bad day doesn't reflect on their relationship, instead offering understanding and a listening ear, providing a safe space for others to express themselves without fear of judgment.

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They can separate a friend's feelings in general from that friend's feelings about their relationship, not allowing insecurity to seep in. They also know that providing support is crucial to any friendship and are happy to provide that without immediately expecting anything in exchange.

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3. "Let Me Think About It."

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Emotionally secure people are clear and careful with their communication. They don't rush into responses, every word is chosen thoughtfully, reflecting their sturdy and confident footing. Instead of impulsive reactions, they approach conversations with a composed demeanor. It's like observing a skilled craftsman at work, each phrase meticulously carved to convey their feelings and ideas.

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This deliberate way of expressing themselves creates a genuine connection with others, emphasizing their emotional maturity and genuine sincerity in every interaction.

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4. "I'm Uncomfortable."

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Emotionally secure individuals express their needs with respect and clarity. When faced with mistreatment, they calmly voice their feelings, swift and direct. If they sense their boundaries being crossed, they proactively take steps to enforce change, as it's not about confrontation but about asserting their worth. They believe in the power of honest communication, ensuring that their relationships are built on mutual understanding and genuine concern for each other.

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Addressing issues head-on, they exemplify the strength of self-advocacy, fostering an environment of respect and empathy in their interactions.

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5. "Am I Really Like That?"

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Emotionally secure people possess the ability to handle criticism without reacting defensively. When faced with negative feedback, they don't internalize it as a personal attack but view it as a chance for self-growth and improvement. Their capacity to embrace constructive criticism with composure showcases their resilience and commitment to self-betterment.

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Rather than lashing out, they welcome these moments as stepping stones on their journey toward becoming the best version of themselves. By sharing that with others, they then inspire them to also always keep growing.

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6. "This Matters To Me."

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Emotional security stems from a firm belief system, shaping our decisions and actions. When faced with a challenge to their values, emotionally stable individuals stand their ground, advocating for what they perceive as moral and just, as well as defending their wants.

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Their unwavering commitment to their beliefs and desires not only defines their character but also serves as a compass, guiding them through life's complexities. In moments of moral conflict, their resolute stance showcases their integrity, reinforcing the foundation upon which their emotional security rests.

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7. "I'll Try My Best."

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Emotionally secure individuals have nurtured an inner sense of safety, assuring them that even if a new endeavor fails, they will land on their feet. This assurance empowers them to explore uncharted territories, be it hobbies, friendships, travels, or personal coping methods.

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Their ability to embrace the unknown with courage stems from this inner confidence. It speaks to their resilience, as they understand that setbacks are part of life's journey. This belief not only encourages experimentation but also enriches said journey, leading to personal growth and a deeper understanding of themselves.

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8. "This Is Who I Am."

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Emotionally secure people are reliably consistent in their actions and demeanor. This consistency creates a predictable and safe environment for those around them. Friends and loved ones find comfort in the knowledge that these individuals are genuine and true to themselves. Their authenticity shines through, making every interaction a stable and trustworthy experience.

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In a world often marked by uncertainty, being around these types of people offers a reassuring sense of reliability, one that has others grateful for their consistency and trust.

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9. "No."

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Emotionally grounded types excel at setting boundaries. They possess a deep clarity about their moral values, needs, and desires, allowing them to confidently delineate what they will and won't engage in. It's not about rigidity but a profound sense of self-respect.

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They navigate life with a strong compass, knowing when to say 'yes' and, importantly, when to firmly say 'no.' This ability to define their limits stems from a place of inner strength, shaping healthier relationships and fostering genuine respect from others.

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Learned Confidence

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Being emotionally secure doesn't mean that you're entirely unshakable or always have the right answer to things, that would be impossible to expect from anyone, but it does often mean that you're very self-aware. You've done a lot of growing and learned a lot about yourself over the years. You know your limits and have grown comfortable enough to voice them.

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You don't let the opinions of others influence you, you remain bold in the face of pressure. If you're someone who struggles with that kind of confidence, try employing some of these phrases when you can and start building that well of self-reliance.

It's not always that easy though, especially for those who've been struggling with self-esteem issues for years before this. First, know you're not alone, and second, know that there's help to be had.

It doesn't have to be a scary journey to start, either. You can begin with something as simple as this short, free audio program designed to help you combat your negative thinking patterns. Take a listen today and watch your confidence rise.