Relationships
Yuris Alhumaydy / Unsplash

What Is Avoidance Behavior? And How To Avoid It

They say that the first step to change is awareness. That means that if you have a tendency to avoid thinking about what needs to change, then admitting that you are exhibiting avoidant behavior might be a good place to start.

Are you wondering if your loved one or if you are yourself have an avoidant style? First, you'll need to understand what it means. Then, you'll want to learn some of the signs. Once you pick up on them, then you can set a plan in motion to change. Remember that we are all capable of growth, no matter how much we'd like to avoid it and be comfortable.

What Is Avoidance Coping?

man stands by fog

Andrew Neel / Unsplash

People cope in different ways and while there's no "right" way to cope, some ways are healthier than others. Avoidant coping is when a person goes out of their way or even changes their behavior to avoid thinking or feeling a difficult thing. This can be in the form of rebellion, like excessive drinking, or complete avoidance like staying home in bed all day.

To avoid this, we need to remind ourselves that confronting a problem will get rid of it faster, and even make it go away eventually. In fact, we will feel less stress and prevent it from happening again.

What Is Avoidant Attachement?

We all have our own attachment styles that influence the way we give, receive and behave in relationships. ​According to Attachment Theory, we form our attachment styles in our childhoods. Usually, it depends on how our parents treated us and how we were taught to experience love.

Avoidant people often weren't shown a lot of affection, came from broken homes, or had very strict parents. They feel as though avoiding emotion is easier than being vulnerable. This can change with experience.

It's The Fear Of Upsetting Others

couple silhouettes arguing in sunset

Eric Ward / Unsplash

Similar to people-pleasing, which is different from a genuine desire to make people happy, avoidant people tend to act from a place of fear. They often would rather suffer themselves than risk upsetting someone. They are scared of being disliked as they are often seeking the validation of others.

They need to realize that they will never please everyone anyway, so they might as well please themselves. Doing so will make them realize that they are earning more respect for standing their ground, while simultaneously making themselves happier.

Struggling With Commitment

couple sits round campfire on the beach

Manuel Meurisse / Unsplash

Avoidant people prefer casual and short-term relationships as they are low risk and don't require as much communication. Sometimes they will get into serious relationships, but they will avoid talking about the future or commit to any long term plans.

The commitment may be uncomfortable but there comes a point where they realize that they are tired of the chase. At that point, they need to evaluate their priorities as they often realize that it's just as much effort trying to do it all their own.

Passive Aggressiveness Over Confrontation

two hands holding each other standing

Brook Cagle / Unsplash

Avoidant people end up often feeling detached from those around them, including their loved ones. They have a hard time expressing their feelings, at the fear of saying the wrong thing, and often feel misunderstood. For that reason rather than deal with confrontation, they often resort to passive-aggressive behavior instead.

One way to make sense of their thoughts is to write them down in a journal. They can even try communicating through pre-written letters as to make sure everything they want to say is already there.

Refusing To Accept Support

couple hugs in a field

Allef Vincius / Unsplash

While most relationships profit from having someone to lean on when life inevitably becomes hard, avoidant people don't know how to let anyone in. They are so guarded and afraid of being vulnerable that they would rather deal with everything on their own than confide in someone and ask for support.

One way to get around this is to start by asking for small things. This will ease them into trusting that they can receive more, on a gradual level.

The Result Is A Bunch Of Mixed Signals

man and woman stand in front of striped wall

Andrik Langfield / Unsplash

It's hard to be around someone who is avoidant, as they are hard to read. You may be confused about how they feel about you. This is mostly because they are confused themselves. They may be all over you one day and then MIA the next.

Remember that during the off times, they are often simply trying not to scare themselves away. Rather than push them further away, give them time to get comfortable with the idea.

popular

Why Some People See Ghosts While Others Don’t, According To Science

You would be surprised at how many people report sightings and apparitions of ghosts. However, some people are more prone to make these reports than others. For example, some studies show that almost half of widowed elderly Americans see a hallucination of their departed spouse. So are they are real or they just hallucinations we dream of during emotionally intense periods?

That's a hard question to answer because the definition of seeing ghosts can depend on the person. If we a define it as "sensing a presence" then it can be as simply as just feeling rather than actually "seeing." Thsi can happen in all kinds of states like when you're awake, or asleep, and when you're grieving or just focused enough to notice. In all cases, science can now explains why ghosts can be seen by some people, and not others.

The Fear Of Ghosts Itself

woman in black dress standing in front of trees

darksouls1 / Pixabay Via canva

Some people are scared of the paranormal. It's not necessarily the ghosts themselves that make them feel uneasy, but the meeting of the unknown and the possibility of something they don't understand that defies the laws of nature as they've come to understand it. For that reason, these people don't particularly enjoy darkness, thunderstorms, or horror stories. However, the brain is funny that way. It's possible that it's the fear itself that tricks the mind into interpreting certain events as "paranormal.' This could be because the mind is already oriented towards that risk. Think of it like when you go do a presentation and work yourself up so you forget all your lines.

On the other hand, those who don't give much thought to ghosts, aren't opening themselves up to the possibility of seeing them. So chances are, even if ghosts are real and have shown themselves to them, these people likely brushed it off with a more rational explanation.

Inability To Breath Properly

woman blows into flower

Nia Koepfer / Unsplash

​We take our ability to let the breath in and back out naturally for granted. However, when you actually bring awareness to the breath you can control its speed which can have good or harmful effects on your mind and body. For some people, breathing is actually harder because their brains don't get enough oxygen to operate properly. This could be developed with habits like smoking which is known as cerebral anoxia.

When the brain is deprived of oxygen it can start to play tricks on the mind. It'll see things that aren't there or hear voices that aren't present. These hallucinations can feel like out-of-body experiences and mimick ghost sightings and other paranormal activity.

Being Exposed To Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

man wearing with mask with smoke around him

Daniel Ramos / Unsplash

Usually, paranormal sightings are accompanied by physical systems like dizziness, nausea, and shortness of breath. Do you know what else causes these symptoms? Carbon monoxide poisoning. So when people report that their house is haunted, they probably should also double-check that their monoxide detector is working well.

This odorless gas often goes undetected despite sometimes having fatal repercussions. People who have been infected by the poisoning are more prone to hallucinations that make them believe in ghosts.

High Stress Situations

man standing outside at sunset with hands covering his face

Francisco Moreno / Unsplash

A study tried to find the differences between people who have never had a paranormal experience and those who have. They found that supernatural experiences most likely happened in threatening or ambiguous environments. This means that stress was often a factor and the more in danger a person felt, the more likely they were to "see ghosts."

For example sailors, mountain climbers, and polar explorers often come home with vivid stories of ghosts following them, living in abandoned ships, or sending them rescuers. These people were often in life or death situations that amplified their sense of a paranormal presence

Inability To Sleep Properly

woman laying in a bed of flowers with eyes closed

Ann Danilina / Unsplash

One of the easiest ways to start losing your mind and ability to tell reality from distortion is by losing enough sleep. Eventually, insomnia takes over the sleep-deprived mind to play all kinds of tricks. Sleep is vital for a sharp mind and alert sensations.

The less sleep they have the more likely a person is to lose their sense of reality and get lost in a world they deem paranormal. Maybe this is the only time they're able to let go of the conditioning that prevents them from seeing ghosts. Maybe that's why children have an easier time seeing them and then grow out of it. Or maybe these people just need more sleep.

Being Surrounded By Technology

satellite image of earth with technology connections

NASA / UNsplash

In today's day and age, it's almost impossible to escape technology. We're surrounded by electrical appliances, televisions, phones, even if they aren't our own. To operate, these technologies create strong electromagnetic fields around them. Studies have shown that these electromagnetic fields interfere with our biological setup such as the electromagnetic field which our minds create.

Some people are more impacted and exposed to these effects, making them more prone to conjuring up ghosts. Keep in mind, that often reports of ghost sightings tell stories of ghosts who disrupt these fields such as by randomly turning on the tv or increasing the volume on the radio on their own

Living In Isolation Or Unusual Circumstances

man stands facing a window in complete darkness

Sasha Freemind / Unsplash

Similarly as when experiencing high levels of stress people who have become isolated in an extreme or found themselves in unusual environments were more likely to "see ghosts" This is probably due to their need to feel like someone or something else was also with them as a coping mechanism.

Usually, they can't describe the experience in detail but out's more of a vague feeling they remember like someone was watching them. ,

Looking Inwards

woman sits on couch on blanket with her face in her hands

Annie Spratt / Unsplash

A study proposed that we spend a lot of time processing the sensations from the world around us. But when we encounter a sensation that we're unprepared to process, like extreme loneliness or survival, we start to look inwards. This means that our greatest perception ability is the one we find in ourselves. If you're looking for more information on how you experience the world around you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading

Take a quick zodiac reading here to find out what your universe has to say about you right now. Understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future by clicking HERE.