What Is Love And Do We Choose Who We Love? It Might All Just Be Science

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Everybody wants to love and be loved. Companionship and connection are natural instincts that surpass all forms of time and species within the universe. For as long as animals and humans have existed on earth, there has been love.

Some people believe that love is something you can’t explain. We’re often left speechless at the feeling of being crazy and utterly in love with someone. However, love is more than we actually realize. Science explains that the reality of romantic relationships is less in our control than we thought.

Do you want to learn a secret technique anyone can master that will make someone fall in love with you?

The Science Behind It All

American anthropologist Helen Fisher conducted an experiment that explains the science of love. At Stony Brook University in New York, Fisher performed 37 MRIs, scanning the physical evidence of love on the brain.

A ball of energy with lights beaming around it.
Hal Gatewood / Unsplash
Hal Gatewood / Unsplash

These participants’ scans demonstrated how the human brain functions when filled with lust and infatuation. Certain parts of the brain that are influenced by dopamine, such as the VTA, experience a wave of electrical stimulation when thinking about romantic interests. The response of brain activity during this survey proved similar response to the brain when influenced by cocaine.

A Universal Experience

The anatomy of the human body is pre-programmed to have a routine response to emotional and romanticl thoughts and desires. This is why the feeling of being in love is a universal experience.

A man and woman laying together, face to face.
Kenny Eliason / Unsplash
Kenny Eliason / Unsplash

Everyone can relate to love stories in books and movies, because we’ve all felt the same reactions when it comes to human connection. When our cheeks get flushed, our hands get sweaty, our heart races and butterflies flutter in our bellies, chemicals in our body, including cortisol and oxytocin, are rising.

The Brain And Heart

Scientists have been researching the relationship between the heart and the brain. It turns out: they’re best friends. Our brains take metaphorical tips and advice from our hearts when regulating and producing hormones and emotions in our bodies.

A plastic model of the anatomy of the heart.
Ali Hajiluyi / Unsplash
Ali Hajiluyi / Unsplash

It’s an adorable discovery that our organs work together to process our emotional and sentimental experiences. In addition to this, science has discovered that our hearts also befriend the organs of our loved ones. In a study, it’s been proven that romantic lovers subconsciously synchronize heartbeats after spending so much time together.

Unusual And Obsessive Behaviour

They say that love is like a drug. Well, its side effects are indeed similar. It’s no surprise that we begin thinking and acting differently when the thought of someone is so intense that we can’t get them out of our brains.

man and woman hide each other's ear with their arms intertwined
Marina Abrosimova / Unsplash
Marina Abrosimova / Unsplash

A Psychiatry professor named Donatella Marazziti experimented on two groups: one with OCD and one with a group of people madly in love. Both groups showed the similarity of lower than usual serotonin levels chemically balanced in the brain, and explained that : “being in love literally induces a state which is not normal.”

Who We Love

Science speculates that who we love is partly determined by our inherited biology. Between 1990 and today, the presence of two genes and the location of the X chromosome in men has been discovered to have a link with homosexuality.

couple holds hands in heart shape
Kristina Litvjak / Unsplash
Kristina Litvjak / Unsplash

Other findings state that the more older brothers a man has, the larger a chance he is at identifying with the LGTBQ+ community. Similarly, exposure to pre-natal hormones for women can affect who they become attracted to. However, science is not as advanced when it comes to discussing this topic, and it’s still in the speculation phase of research.

The Power Of Pheromones

Attraction can happen through any of our senses: by touching, feeling, seeing, tasting, or even smelling someone we’re interested in. Everyone has a signature scent, and often a perfume or cologne can get us hooked on the memory of someone. But, chemically speaking, it’s also been proven that like animals, humans let out pheromones.

man kisses woman's neck as she smiles
Elina Fairytale / Pexels
Elina Fairytale / Pexels

It’s been found that the human armpit lets out a similar chemical to the mating pheromone found in animals like pigs.

A Gene Of Infideility

So, what about cheating? We often accept the idea that there’s no excuse for cheaters and that they never deserve a chance for redemption after they’ve made a mistake. However, scientists have explained that we’ve been wrong.

A man and woman sitting on a park bench, his head resting on his hands, her facing away from him in sadness.
Vera Arsic / Pexels
Vera Arsic / Pexels

A study conducted on 7,400 siblings from Finland proved a connection between cheating and genetic pre-dispositions. In some women, the vasopressin gene can lead to a natural inclination to be unfaithful to one’s partner. While infidelity is never morally acceptable, science may change our minds to look at it in a way that’s less hurtful to the heart and soul.

Love Is A Physiological Need

Love makes the world go round. Without love, life would be boring and dull. But, according to scientists, it appears that whether we’re interested in relationships and connections with other beings isn’t necessarily up to us.

White and red heart-shaped balloons floating in a cloudy blue sky.
Christopher Beloch / Unsplash
Christopher Beloch / Unsplash

The desire for closeness is rooted in our anatomy. Without company and acceptance from others, our souls and bodies would exist in a neglected state. According to research, love is not just a game of chance, luck, or choice, but actually a physiological need.

Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it’s much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.


nicolemior is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives