Science Explains Why Women Like Bad Boys, And Nice Guys Finish Last

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It is a story that we are all familiar with: the good girl falls for the bad boy. Maybe you, too, cannot steer clear from the bad guys. You know they’re just going to hurt you and wrap you up in a toxic relationship and yet you fall for their charm and miss the narcissistic red flags until it’s too late and wonder “how did I get here again?”

For many women, this pattern is present in their love lives. Many failed relationships with the wrong men and never attracted the good men. This leaves nice guy scratches their heads, wondering what they have to do to prove to these women that they could actually treat them in the way that they deserve. Well it turns out that science might have the answer. Here are the reasons women can’t help but like the bad boys.

The Chase

man holds woman's chin and kisses her

Dainis Graveris / Unsplash

Dainis Graveris / Unsplash

It is no secret that people always want what they cannot have. Securing a nice guy may seem a little boring for a fierce, bold woman who can’t help but love the chase. When it comes to romantic and platonic love, having fun is a large part of finding a partner.

When a man’s angsty and player attitude labels him as hard to get, a challenge is recognized by a woman. If we can get him tied down when no other girl has yet to, we may feel that we won something – the big, shiny prize of the bad boy. Women’s maternal instincts sometimes trick them into thinking they can “change” or “fix” a man. This sets up a “reward” system in the brain that sparks happy chemicals when they finally give a girl the time of the day. So when they go from charming to unavailable, the brain can’t help but crave back those chemicals and get obsessed with the chase.

Emotionally Unavailable

man with sunglasses sits on tire
Philipp Lansing / Unsplash
Philipp Lansing / Unsplash

Another reason a woman might get stuck in a cycle of toxic relationships is that she is emotionally unavailable. Without even realizing it, we often use men and relationships as distractions for issues that are beneath the surface.When women are afraid of commitment, don’t know our worth or believe we deserve good things, and hold on to low self-esteem, we will accept things that are not right for us.

This can happen the other way around too. A lot of time this has to do with their upbringing. For some women going for emotionally unavailable men has to do with the affection and acceptance they lacked in their childhood that they try to recreate in their adulthood. The only problem is that they’re seeking it from partners who mimic a lot of the same traits as their parents. They gravitate toward bad boys as a way to get closure from their childhood.

Seeking Approval

woman puts hand beside her face with the word

Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels

Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels

An additional quality of a bad boy that a woman might like is his personality traits of being unsocial, impolite, or even mean. When a woman is wrapped around the finger of a man, they want to feel special. When a man is nice to the woman he likes and no one else, it can make her feel like she is the only girl in the world.

Seeking approval is a common subconscious goal for an individual seeking a partner who appears unattainable. If you are curious as to what it is you look for in the mean ones, it may be that the high of changing his attitude makes his bad boy nature worth it. It can have the same effects as drugs!

All About Hormones

close up of man and woman touching faces with poker faces

Jonathan Borba / Unsplash

Jonathan Borba / Unsplash

You may not have babies on your mind, but your biology wires your entire system to want to pair up with the kind of partner that you subconsciously think best fits your genes so that you can pass them on to your offspring. So it turns out that women are more attracted to bad boys or “alpha” men during ovulation than at any other point in their monthly cycle.

Something about bad boys’ symmetrical faces and dominant behavior just draws a woman in during her fertile days. Can you blame her? Studies have shown that during ovulation rebellious charismatic boys seem more attractive which distorts women’s opinions into thinking they’d be good fathers, when in fact they lack all the necessary fatherly qualities.

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The Thrill Of The Fantasy

man and woman pose closely for photo at the beach

Charles Deloy / Unsplash

Charles Deloy / Unsplash

When it comes to a bad boy, women like that they can make their fantasy a reality. Unlike the proper, gentleman-like traits of a good guy, there is no pressure to be a good girl with these men. Breaking free from the expectation of being with a man that you are expected to like allows a woman to break free from the things holding her back.

The “bad guy” can give a woman the little push and shove she needs to live out her hidden sexual and romantic dreams that she has kept hidden. It’s a way for the brain to escape the harsh reality and live in its own little happy world, even if it deep down it knows that it’s not sustainable.

Their Confident Attitude

man in leather jacket crouches over dumpster by red brick building

Tyler Nix / Unsplash

Tyler Nix / Unsplash

One of the most attractive characteristics of the archetypal bad boy is their attitude and behavior. These men exude confidence and remain self-assured no matter where they are or who they are with.

Their behavior, verbal and non-verbal language, and overall character have the ability to easily persuade submissive women that they need a man like this in their lives. The tease of power and control can easily make women fall in love. Confidence creates an aura that draws people in. We tend to trust confident people more, especially if we lack that confidence ourselves.

Awareness Before Action

couple eating breakfast in bed and smiling wrapped in a blanket

Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels

Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels

So now that we understand why women like bad boys, what are we actually going to do about it? Keep in mind that by going after bad boys over and over again, no one is winning. The nice guys finish last, the women end up heartbroken and damaged, and the guys get away with it.

The more we go for bad guys the more we enable their toxic behavior, justify their harmful actions and encourage them to not have to change. We give them too much power and allow them to hurt us all, even themselves. So let’s take some of that power back!

Start Looking For The Nice Guys

man smiles while eating noodles coming out of his mouth

Mike Kilcoyne / Unsplash

Mike Kilcoyne / Unsplash

We don’t blame you for being frustrated with dating and wanting to stick with what’s comfortable but if you’re struggling to find and keep a quality man click hereto find out how to break the cycle.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video

It is a story that we are all familiar with: the good girl falls for the bad boy. Maybe you, too, cannot steer clear from the bad guys. You know they’re just going to hurt you and wrap you up in a toxic relationship and yet you fall for their charm and miss the narcissistic red flags until it’s too late and wonder “how did i get here again?”

For many women, this pattern is present in their love lives. Many failed relationships with the wrong men and never attracted the good men. This leaves nice guy scratches their heads, wondering what they have to do to prove to these women that they could actually treat them in the way that they deserve. Well it turns out that science might have the answer. Here are the reasons women can’t help but like the bad boys.

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Higher Perspectives Author

Higher Perspectives Author is one of the authors writing for Higher Perspectives