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Uplifting

Why the strongest women often feel so broken inside

Radiating strength and confidence, she seems impervious to the stress and pressures of life. Her problems never look real, even if they are the same problems that tear you to pieces.

No matter what life throws at her- career stumbles, failed romances, family squabbles, you name it- they all roll off of her like water off of a duck's back. Somehow despite it all, she maintains an impeccable veneer of calm and contentment.

Her smile is guaranteed to light up every room she enters. Not only does she remember every special occasion, but she's the first one to show up with a beautifully wrapped and thought out gift.

She's not just the first one to volunteer, but she stays afterward to clean up and make sure everyone has a safe way home.

On the surface, her life is perfect. She has it all. Everything happens as if she planned her life down to the millisecond.

She is a role model not just for young women, but for all women. By all accounts, she is flawless.

But what people fail to realize is that she oozes power and confidence because that is precisely the persona she wants the world to see. It's because she's strong and successful.

But little do they know, that's exactly what she decides to display of her. But behind her carefully constructed wall lies a heart that is holding in the darkness she doesn't want the world to see.

Her pain is locked away, deep down in places nobody could find. And even if they did scratch the surface of her pain, there is no way they could fathom the depths of her sorrow.

After all, why would anyone think she even can feel pain when all anyone sees is energetic bliss?

The only way anyone could begin to comprehend her pain would be to see her at that moment when she collapses on the bed all alone, the darkness her only companion.

She seeks solace in sleep, but the nightmares chase away any chance of relief. Her vulnerabilities bubble to the surface, and it is all she can do not to drown.

She chooses to suffer the slings and arrows of life in solitude, assuming a burden that nobody should have to endure alone. Her resistance comes not from a place of vanity or narcissism, but from abject fear.

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Because everyone believes she is living her best life without any effort or struggle, she does everything in her power to fulfill that perception. Ironically, her perfect life is the roadblock to that very goal.

Despite her perceived invincibility, she is emotionally rotting from within. She is a ticking time bomb.

But in the midst of all of her internal chaos, she loses sight of one critical fact. She is not only powerful, but she has an inner strength far beyond her realization.

She is the person everyone sees because every morning she wakes up and locks her darkest thoughts away. They don't beat her; she overcomes them.

Every single day the battle begins again, but she not only never fails to fight, she never fails to win. And that drive and willingness to sustain the fight makes her every bit as amazing on the inside as she appears on the outside.

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Relationships

When a strong woman says goodbye, there is no turning back

A strong woman "loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, and perseveres," a popular saying goes.

To be clear, a breakup is a traumatic experience no matter who you are; an in-charge, "alpha female," however, handles a failed relationship a bit differently than the ordinary woman. Here's how.

Let's start with the "moment of truth." You decide the relationship isn't working and you break up with her. Alternatively, she realizes you aren't a good match and elects to end things with you.

Would you expect her to feel shock? Do you think she will experience the deluge of complicated emotions that come with heartbreak?

You'd be correct in answering "yes," but here's the thing — for a strong woman, those feelings only last a short while.

The relationship you had, though it may have been special at one point in time, is still just one relationship. She won't let any singular event define who she is or dictate how she should feel.

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In truth, she'll quickly come to accept your breakup with poise and grace, then set down the path of recovery without looking back. Will there be setbacks along the way?

Certainly, there will be. She may glance at an old picture, relieve some heartfelt memories, and long for things to have gone differently. She'll never beg you to stay, however, and she'll implore you to do the same.

She knows that no single person is her sole source of inspiration, fulfillment, or joy. She derives these things from life itself, so instead of focusing on what you're doing after you're gone, she'll be focusing on herself.

She will steel herself for whatever challenges block the road ahead, but at the same time, she won't let this bit of bad luck change her character.

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She won't become mean. She won't be bitter. She will emerge from this trying time a better human in all respects — savvier, wiser, and more compassionate.

Make no mistake, while she'll have stopped loving you (and there's no changing that) her ability to love has not diminished, it has grown, along with her. That's the way a strong woman walks away — for good, and always feeling better for it.

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