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Relationships

When a strong woman says goodbye, there is no turning back

A strong woman "loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, and perseveres," a popular saying goes.

To be clear, a breakup is a traumatic experience no matter who you are; an in-charge, "alpha female," however, handles a failed relationship a bit differently than the ordinary woman. Here's how.

Let's start with the "moment of truth." You decide the relationship isn't working and you break up with her. Alternatively, she realizes you aren't a good match and elects to end things with you.

Would you expect her to feel shock? Do you think she will experience the deluge of complicated emotions that come with heartbreak?

You'd be correct in answering "yes," but here's the thing — for a strong woman, those feelings only last a short while.

The relationship you had, though it may have been special at one point in time, is still just one relationship. She won't let any singular event define who she is or dictate how she should feel.

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In truth, she'll quickly come to accept your breakup with poise and grace, then set down the path of recovery without looking back. Will there be setbacks along the way?

Certainly, there will be. She may glance at an old picture, relieve some heartfelt memories, and long for things to have gone differently. She'll never beg you to stay, however, and she'll implore you to do the same.

She knows that no single person is her sole source of inspiration, fulfillment, or joy. She derives these things from life itself, so instead of focusing on what you're doing after you're gone, she'll be focusing on herself.

She will steel herself for whatever challenges block the road ahead, but at the same time, she won't let this bit of bad luck change her character.

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She won't become mean. She won't be bitter. She will emerge from this trying time a better human in all respects — savvier, wiser, and more compassionate.

Make no mistake, while she'll have stopped loving you (and there's no changing that) her ability to love has not diminished, it has grown, along with her. That's the way a strong woman walks away — for good, and always feeling better for it.

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Science

New research says being forgetful is actually a sign of intelligence

For us forgetful types, there's usually a worry that our sometimes-poor memory is a sign of our minds failing us, or even worse, that we may be suffering the early onset of some memory-related disease.

Fear not, as some new research from Neuron suggests that forgetting things is a sign of intelligence, and that your brain is working efficiently.

"Forgetting things isn't just normal," reads a report from CNN, "it actually makes us smarter." As having a near-perfect memory has almost always been a signifier of a well-optimized brain, you might wonder how this could be the case.

The research goes on to explain, however, that the true function of memory is "to optimize intelligent decision-making by holding onto what's important and letting go of what's not."

Cast in this light, knowing that our brains opt to prioritize importance over accuracy makes a lot more sense.

Instead of trying to help us recall every moment of every day, our brains attempt to make the information that will help us make critical decisions most readily available, furthering our chances of survival and success.

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There's an added benefit to being able to forget easily, the research also notes. It helps us adapt quickly to new situations, and change our way of thinking to better fit our current circumstances.

Imagine, the researchers posit, trying to make sense of a situation and multiple, conflicting memories dictating how you should act flood your head.

That makes it harder to choose a course of action, while being able to cast away outdated information and make room for the new makes us more capable.

In fact, it might even be helpful for us to give our brains a hand in this department, by engaging in activities that help clear out useless information every so often.

Regular trips to the gym and a few more peaceful walks around the block or through the woods work wonders.

So, wrapping up, it's important for us forgetful types to remember that our brain isn't deleting memories out of spite — it's glossing over the insignificant details so we can better understand the bigger picture.

We can finally stop being so hard on ourselves, to a degree, at least!

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