Relationships

8 Red Flags That You’re In A One-Sided Relationship

Relationships take work, but they are so worth the effort with the right person. But if you're in a relationship with the wrong person, putting in the work may be a lost cause and only create heartache for you. There are many reasons why being single is better than being with the wrong person.

You may know you'd prefer to be single than spend time with someone who doesn't value you, but it can be hard to know if your relationship is experiencing normal and healthy hiccups, or if you're with someone who isn't meeting you halfway.

One-sided relationships can be soul-crushing and heartbreaking, but so hard to recognize without taking a deep, hard look at the relationship.

Recognizing the red flags of a one-sided relationship will help you more easily identify if you're in that situation to get out sooner. Here are 8 warning signs you're in a one-sided relationship:

1. They wish you were different.

They "love" you, but they wish you would change. They "care" about you, but there's a lot they wish were different.

They may express their desire for you to change openly, saying things like, "I wish you were like her," or, "Why don't you act this way?"

Or they may hint at their desire for you to change by saying things like, "They do it this way, why can't you?"

They may do things like buy you gifts that don't make sense to you (but make sense to the person they want you to be). For example, they may get you workout clothes when you don't workout because they wish you would workout. Or they may get you an elegant diamond necklace when you'd prefer a simple hemp choker because they wish you were more elegant.

Learn how to keep your partner coming back for more, click here and watch this free video from relationship expert, Amy North.

2. They don't connect with you when you're together.

They're distracted when you spend time together. They may be on their phone or lost in their own thoughts, but they're not fully present with you.

They rarely spend quality time with you and you struggle to connect with them on an emotional level.

3. They exclude you from decision making.

They make decisions for themselves, without consulting you. Even big life decisions, like taking a job in a new town, are made without you. You're simply told after the fact.

Of course, relying on a partner to make decisions can create a codependent and toxic relationship, but when you're in a partnership, it's important to discuss major moves with your partner and value their opinions and perspective.

4. They don't work to communicate.

They don't put an effort into communicating clearly or effectively, even when you do. You may feel like you're constantly working to communicate better and they're just not meeting you halfway.

They may even voice that they don't see a problem with the current communication and get annoyed when you try to better it.

5. They're disrespectful.

They talk about other people in a way that should be reserved for you. When they're out with friends, they may pretend you don't exist and act single. They may say things about other people they find attractive that hurts your feelings, and they don't seem to care. Friends and strangers alike may be unsure of your relationships status based on the way they talk about you or others.

6. They don't support your dreams and goals.

They put you down for wanting to achieve big things in life. They refuse to support your goals and don't believe that you can achieve much. They make you feel silly for wanting to do certain things or get upset if your goals interfere with their own.

7. They're secretive.

They hide their phone from you and are secretive about things. They try to keep you out of their business and don't share much with you about their work life, friends, or thoughts.

8. They make you feel guilty.

They question you and may accuse you of cheating, lying, or keeping secrets. They may make you feel guilty for wanting anything in the relationship, like better communication or to be included in major decision making.

You can have more.

Strong men and strong women don't tolerate this in relationships and you shouldn't either. It's hard, but so worth it to exit a partnership with the wrong person and wait until you meet your soulmate.

Be mindful that you're not putting in all the effort and living with a one-sided relationship. And remember, while these warning signs are a good place to evaluate from, every relationship is different and an unhealthy or one-sided relationship could look different for you and your partner.

For more expert relationship advice and tips on how to make a long lasting relationship, watch this video: Click Here To Watch The Full Video

Spirituality

Death And Breakups Trigger The Same Unbearable Pain, Except For This One Crucial Difference

There is a false believe that true, intense grief is only experienced during the loss of a loved one to death. However, more and more we're realizing that any kind of loss can be grieved, even if it's just a breakup, Grief in all its stages, is experienced is whenever a person faces a life changing loss from intimate relationships, losing a job, a house to a fire, having to relocate, you name it. However there is still one major difference between death and breakups that make breakups even more painful.

For personalized relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.

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Depression From Loneliness

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Psychological studies have spent a long time trying to understand the pain receptors that are activated during grief. They found that the loss of a loved one has specific depression symptoms, primarily loneliness, which then leads to other depressive symptoms.

In both kinds of losses (death or breakups), the grieving person has to relearn how to be in the absence of someone they shared a bond with and gave a lot of time to. Not being able to see them anymore, whether by circumstance or choice, can feel really isolating and lonely.

Constant Triggers In Routines

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One of the hardest changes experienced in these losses is having to readapt to a whole new lifestyle. The longer the relationships before the losses, the harder it is to accustom to a daily life alone. A routine that was once taken for granted, or even mundane stops making sense, leaving the griever with a shattered sense of self.

Sometimes it's the smallest reminders that cause the greatest pains like having to go to the grocery store alone or walking past the favorite restaurant of a lost loved one. It's quite difficult to build a life from scratch.

Both Kinds Of Grief Impact The Physical Body

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Both breakups and death can take a toll on the physical body. A grieving person will often experience trouble eating, trouble sleeping, low energy, and even panic attacks. Not to mention that each one of those systems will lead to its own effect like trouble sleeping will lead to headaches, nausea, and an ability to concentrate. These symptoms create a vicious cycle of pain.

The feeling of loss is not just emotional but also physical, which makes sense when thinking that the person we lost is no longer physically there. The creates a longing for their physical body to be able to hug it or feel its warmth once again.

A Loss Of The Future

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Shoeib Abolhassani / Unsplash

One thing that breakups and death have in common is that no one really plans for them or can predict when they happen. No one enters a relationship thinking that it's just going to end. Usually, long-term plans are made together and when the person we made them with is gone, so is the hope we had of the future we had. Not only do we grieve the loss of that person but the loss of the future as well.

it becomes hard to live for tomorrow having no idea where it now leads ad it. Grief then creates a void and the grieving person feels like it's walking aimlessly, now lost in the vastity of the world. It takes time to then find hope in a new future.

If you're looking for more information on how this retrograde will take its toll on you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading.

The Major Difference Between Death And Breakups: Ambiguous Grief

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We have no choice when it comes to death. It's the inevitable part of our existence and we have no control over its timing. When we lose someone to death we have no choice but to say goodbye and continue knowing that they no longer are a part of our world. However, a breakup is a choice. This is a lot harder to express because even when we say goodbye, we then have to continue living knowing that the person we lost still walks among us, but that we no longer have the privilege of sharing life with them. The grief of a breakup is not only in having to say goodbye to a relationship that's now over and a person that's gone, but also in having to watch that very same person live on with us.

Grieving someone that is still alive in that way is known as ambiguous grief. It means that we're experiencing a loss because someone has changed or disappeared and are stuck in limbo between hoping that everything will return to normal and trying to grasp that life as we know it is also fading away.

Abandonment Grief

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Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

Experiencing grief can come with a complicated set of abandonment issues. Suddenly this person we had trusted to always be with us is gone, leaving us to figure life out alone. However, the abonnement is scarring when it is experienced through rejection. A breakup can actually feel traumatic and tap into insecurities and anxieties that date all the way back to childhood.

Suddenly we start expecting everyone who loves us to then also change their mind and leave us. In an attempt to protect ourselves from feeling that loss again, we can never attach fully again, and simply feel incomplete for a long time.

A Breakup Feels Like A Threat To Survival

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Melanie Wasser / Unsplash

Another reason that grief from a breakup is worse is that the brain processes the loss of a partner as a threat to survival This triggers biological changes because it gets the body ready for self-defense. In a state of emergency, It increases heart rate and blood pressure, decreases appetite, and increases oxygen to the brain to put the body on high alert.

It can even start over-analyzing experiences from the past to learn and prepare for the new perceived danger. This all makes the person feel like they have become obsessed with their ex, and that the only way they'll survive and feel better is if they can go back to the source of their attachment, and get their ex back. When they fail to, it worsens their abandonment anxiety.

Leads To Revenge Or Planning To Get Them Back Are

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Yivraj Singh / Unsplash

We as human beings are wired to connect. From the moment we're born we develop a deep need for attachment. As we get older we find people we connect with and attach ourselves to them. The attachment is even stronger when part of an intimate relationship as it becomes a primary attachment. When it's suddenly cut off, all the energy that was invested with it has no place to go and completely disrupt the biology of the brain.

To cope with this kind of grief, people resort to one of two methods before reaching acceptance. Either they try to execute revenge, which is just another way to keep holding on to the attachment while projecting their pain. Or, they desperately obsess over trying to get their ex back. Thankfully, the healing process and the stages of grief eventually all lead to acceptance.

It's Okay To Feel Pain, Because There's An End in Sight

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We don't blame you for being frustrated with the pain that relationships bring and wanting to stick with what's comfortable but if you're longing to break the cycle click here to find out how. if you're looking for more information on how grief takes its toll on you specifically, then you'll need your own zodiac reading.

We're each on our own unique path and what some struggle with might not be applicable to you too.

Understand your purpose and your potential so that you can take control of your emotions, your life, and your future by clicking HERE.