18 Things That Are An Instant Turn Off Even If You’re Highly Attractive

Do you meet someone nice at a party or get together, but they turn down an invite for coffee? Do you have problems getting beyond a first date or get dropped after a week or two?

If you're getting ghosted before you even get something started, you might be guilty of one (or more) of these instant turn-offs, even if you're fit, well-dressed, and very attractive.

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1 – Are you inattentive or distracted?

A potential romantic partner wants to know that you're important to them. When you look around the room, half-listen to the conversation, or keep checking your phone, you're sending out the wrong signal.

2 – Do you mock other's passions?

Everyone has a “thing" they're into whether it's bowling, reality TV, kale, or Star Trek. You might not understand it, but if you mock their passion, it's an instant turn off and shows you're incompatible.

3 – Do you check out the eye candy?

It's bad enough if you're constantly checking your IG, but even worse if you're openly scoping out a hot guy or girl that turns your head.

4 – Are you closed off emotionally?

It's not a good idea to unpack your emotional baggage the moment you meet someone, but if you can't open up at all, that's a problem too.

5 – Are you a poor sport?

One round of pool at the local dive bar and a potential mate might scratch and run if you rage when you lose or thump your chest and brag when you win.

6 – Do you have fits of jealousy?

Being wanted is a nice feeling, but if you get possessive and see everyone as a threat, that can get old fast.

7 - Are you a pessimist?

If every conversation is about how much you don't like something, how it annoys you, or you constantly criticize, you're a pessimist. That can send a prospect scurrying away instantly.

8 – Are you a backstabber?

Trustworthiness is a top trait that attracts people, but if you're one that can't wait until someone leaves the room to unload trash talk them, it's no surprise you're not getting anyone's digits.

9 – Is materialism your thing?

It's nice to have nice things, but if that's all that matters to you or you judge people by their possessions, you might find yourself judged a poor potential partner.

10 – Do you have low self-worth?

It's nice to be humble (even if you're awesome), but if your sense of self-worth is so low that it's driving negative behaviors, you might come off as too much trouble.

11 – Do you belittle potential dates?

Are you sarcastic? Do you hand out burns or make jokes at other's expense? If so, you might be getting brushed off with good reason.

12 – Are you a poor conversationalist?

Relationships start with a chat. If you can't hold a meaningful conversation on subjects of mutual interest, your looks won't be enough to hold their interest.

13 – Are you argumentative?

If bickering gives you a thrill or you must always get your way, no doubt you're turning off people that you'd like to be dating.

14 – Do you lack ambition?

You don't need to unroll a road map of your five-year plan, but if you don't have life goals and ambitions (maybe even a bucket list), you might come off as immature.

15 – Must you be the center of attention?

The spotlight is great for an actor, but don't expect a girl or guy you want to stick around if it's always about you. When every sentence starts with “I," then you have a problem.

16 – Are you disrespectful?

To be a good prospect as a love interest, the object of your affection must trust you to interact with their friends, family, and co-workers in a way that won't embarrass them.

17 – Are you a stage-five clinger?

Everyone needs a little space, and if you can't leave a little breathing room for a potential partner to hang out with friends or have a cocktail after work, you're going to chase them away.

18 – Do you issue ultimatums?

No one wants to hear “or else." If you always make threats to get your way, it's an instant turn off.

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12 Obvious Signs You Have Zero Self-Respect For Yourself

It can be hard to take the time to think about what you need for yourself in a busy day. But the truth is, it's so important to honor yourself and your autonomy. No one has the ability to define you. Here are some signs you might not respect yourself enough:

1. You let other people control you

Everyone loves to give advice and tell you what you "should" be doing. If you let these people have the last say, you might be missing respect for yourself. You don't have to listen to everything that someone else tells you to do.

2. You ignore your intuition

It may be tempting to ignore a sinking feeling in your stomach, but it's an important survival mechanism. Your gut instincts let you know the best way to honor your own needs. Learn to pay attention to it and your mental state or psychology.

3. You allow other people to take advantage of you

Unfortunately, others will try to take your kindness and sensitivity for granted. Remember to protect yourself. When you learn to self-help, you learn to help others as well.

4. Your true feelings remain hidden

It can be hard to open yourself up and become vulnerable. But when you become in touch with your feelings, you respect your truest self. Learn to be aware of what your own emotions are trying to tell you.

5. You overpromise

If you deny your gut feeling and commit to something you really don't want to do, you are denying your happiness. It is always ok to say "no."

6. You are holding back from pursuing your happiness

If your own personal dreams and goals always come last on your list, stop and think about whether that may actually be making you feel resentful.

It's important to spend time doing things for others, but if you never think about what your own desires are, chances are you don't respect yourself.

7. You spend your time on things you don't love

If you find yourself doing something only so that someone else will approve of you, stop and reconsider your actions.

You do not need to force yourself to do unpleasant things in order to get acceptance from other people. Healthy relationships are built on terms that both people are comfortable with.

8. You spend too much time self-criticizing

It's important to be self-aware, but not self-critical. It is not healthy or constructive to spend large amounts of time considering your negative attributes. This is not a happy way to live.

9. You deny your own needs

When you start listening to your gut, you will start to figure out what you need. You need to prioritize taking care of yourself however you need. This is a vital way to begin to respect yourself.

10. You constantly think about what others think of you

Relationships are important, but other people cannot define your sense of self. You do not require validation from anyone in order to be happy.

11. You spend your time judging others

If you are self-critical, you will also project that feeling onto others. But the truth is that other people are out of your control, and as you accept yourself, you must also respect others. Allow other people to make their own choices.

12. Your relationships are harmful or unfulfilling

When you don't respect yourself, it can be too easy to end up in relationships that are unfulfilling, or even toxic or abusive.

You can take care of others while still prioritizing your own needs and desires. Let go of the need for others' approval, because it does not matter.

It may sound daunting, but once you begin to prioritize yourself and your own happiness, you will begin to feel more reasons to respect yourself.

It is so important to remain in touch with your intuition and needs. It is ok to become the person that you want to be. You don't need anyone else's permission. Trust yourself and your limits, and others will, too.

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