6 Reasons Why Hippies (Not Sociopaths) Should Rule The World

1. Hippies love trees.

That’s right. You know why we love trees? Because they give us shade, fruit, and oxygen. I love oxygen. Breathing is awesome. Politicians seem to have no trouble chopping down trees. Let’s plant more instead.

2. We look grungy.

That’s because we know how to make do and we wear things until they’re worn out. Chances are, your grandparents did the same thing.

3. We grow our own food.

You see a stately Whitehouse lawn and I see a kickass organic garden when, you know, you all elect me to be president.

4. We live simply.

America needs to learn how to live simply again. We have such go go go lifestyles that we don’t ever stop and do some mushrooms. I mean smell the roses.

5. We make art.

Art comes from something larger than us. We’re able to tap into things that are beyond the realms of what we intimately know. This makes us great diplomats. We want to see the entire world thrive.

6. We love peace.

When was the last time a president didn’t bomb anyone?