Signs That Your Friends Are Not The Best People For You

We encounter hundreds of possible friendships and relationships on a near-daily basis. Those you come into direct contact with via work or social events are probably more likely to make it into your inner circle, but even a random person you bump into on the street could spark a connection that leads to friendship.

We don’t always make a particularly conscious or deliberate choice to become friends with someone, there are connections that seem to happen simply by coincidence.

When we do realize that we’ve forged something worth continuing, however, it is important to take into consideration how beneficial this person might or might not be in our life and vice versa.

When thinking about whether or not your friends or one friend, in particular, is good or bad for you overall, you may also want to consider the possibility that you may not be the best for them.

Do you have friends who might read this article with you in mind?

1. Sugar-coating and walking on eggshells constantly.

There’s nothing wrong with being reasonably sensitive to a person’s needs.

Any conversation with a friend is worthy of some semblance of tact and respect, but if you find yourself feeling as though you can’t say anything at all without getting a negative or indignant response, this is a problem.

How are you supposed to communicate with someone who requires planning and strategy just to have a pleasant conversation with?

This isn’t healthy for either one of you, because you end up telling a lot of white lies and omitting the truth just to avoid confrontation or drama, and the other person isn’t hearing the truth at all.

Tip-toeing around someone’s feelings too much is not good for them, it only teaches them that their feelings and reactions are someone else’s responsibility.

This will cause them big problems as soon as they end up around somebody who won’t play extra gently with them.

2. Being made to feel like hanging out with you is a massive inconvenience.

Do you feel like orchestrating a simple hang out or even talking on the phone is like playing a one-handed violin concerto for this person?

If you have to practically hire a private investigator just to get your friend to get back to you once a week, it may be better for everyone just to end the agony.

It doesn’t exactly do good for a person’s self-esteem when they feel like their friends are actively avoiding them for no reason.

These people are usually just too self-centered to realize that friendships are a two-way street, and you’re not likely to change them easily.

3. They make you feel inferior.

A person who truly cares for you and wants to be your friend will let you know how valuable and important you are to them.

Not only this, but they will make sure that you know how lucky they feel to be a part of your life. If you’re friends with someone, there are probably a few very good reasons.

You should admire and respect that person, and you should always feel lucky and grateful to be a part of their life.

If your friend makes you feel like you’re the lucky one and yet they’re just hanging around so you can bask in their greatness, this is a one-sided and selfish relationship and you can do better.

4. Making excuses for bad behavior.

Healthy friendships shouldn’t have to be justified.

If you feel the need to explain to yourself or others why you still spend time with someone who treats you badly or behaves negatively towards you, it’s probably time to cut ties.

You shouldn’t need to make excuses or apologize for someone else’s behavior, and you shouldn’t allow the people close to you to disappoint and walk over you all the time.

If they’re not willing to own up to their own mistakes and work on themselves, there’s no point in hanging around.

5. When they induce anxiety and dread.

If the thought of planning something or hanging out with this friend tends to make you nervous, anxious or stressed rather than excited, nobody is getting anything positive out of the exchange.

This person has worn on your good graces so much that they now feel like an obligation or a burden. Spending time with a friend should always be pleasant at the very least, it should be a way for you to unwind and relax, not a challenge you should have to prepare for.

Time with friends is all about feeling comfortable and cared for, if time with this person gives you feelings on the opposite end of the spectrum, maybe they simply shouldn’t be called a friend anymore.

It can be difficult to let go of a relationship that has turned bad or become toxic for our mental and emotional well-being, but these types of poisoned connections are bad for everyone involved.

Having the privilege of being someone’s friend is an honor and an incredibly important position to fill.

You should know how to love and treat your friends with the respect they deserve, but you should never forget that you deserve that treatment just as much.

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