The Psychological Reasons Why Smart Women Get Stuck In Unhealthy Relationships

The Boredom Of Stability Without Challenge

In an ideal world, we just want to feel loved and safe, but no part of the world we live in is ideal. We're used to feeling a sense of rush and urgency in attaining milestone after milestone. We're conditioned to grind as hard as we can to attain higher standards of living and success.

A smart woman is taught that to be successful, she will have to set challenges for herself and work tirelessly to achieve them. It's hard to separate that mentality from relationships.

When that kind of woman finds herself in a stable and comfortable relationship, she may find it boring or intimidating because it doesn't challenge her. She may feel like she didn't earn it, that it's unrealistic, or have a hard time believing that it will last. It takes a long time to rewire that mentality and trust in a healthy relationship.

A Lack Of Self Love

Unfortunately, many women who find themselves attracted to unhealthy relationships are women who don't feel great about themselves. We tend to project our insecurities unto others.

That's not to say that women end up with men who mirror the flaws they fear about themselves. Instead what that means is that we accept the love that we think we deserve.

Even smart women can falsely convince themselves that they're not loveable enough on their bad days, that the weight they gained makes them undesirable or their success makes them intimidating. This can make it hard for them to believe that someone else can love them better.

The Human Existential Fear Of Loneliness

So many women live in mortal fear that they will never find their person. In psychology, there is an existential belief that people come into the world alone but are are terrified of leaving it the same way, so they spend their whole lives trying to cheat death by filling its void with a partner.

Even smart women feel lonely. It's in their nature to love and want to be loved. However, that desire or need can be so overwhelming that it rushes them into a relationship or makes them stay in something that's not good for them because they think that it's still better than not having it at all.

Normalized Toxic Conditions

The more a pattern of behavior is repeated, the more it's normalized to a point where even smart women can't see what's wrong with it anymore. That's because unhealthy relationships don't always start with obvious signs. It usually starts very small with a critique here, and a lack of compromise there until it fully becomes an unequal unbalanced selfish toxic relationship.

Over time even the smart woman holds on to hope of a better future, the potential she sees in her partner, or memories of better times. This is a survival tactic that humans in general use in dark times so they don't lose hope till they find better ones.

Racing A Timeline

Women face a lot of pressure. They're conditioned from a young age to believe that one of their purpose, if not their main purpose is to marry and have children. However, they're also told that they need to do it before a certain age while they're still youthful, desirable, and fertile.

This can make them feel like they're racing time the closer they get to societal expectations of these milestones. Even smart women don't want to be excluded and are subject to these same pressures.

Knowing When To Walk Away

In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them? This can help you determine whether it's time to walk away.

Love is more than just kisses and butterflies, it's much more than that. If you want to know more on what your birth chart reveals about how you love and what you need out of a partner, check out this personalized report based on date of birth.

For more great relationship advice and tips on how to attain the kind of love you deserve, watch this video from expert, Amy North: Click Here To Watch The Full Video.