Every person you meet has their own unique set of priorities, values, and goals for their life. We all lead such vastly different lives, so it may be impossible for you to even begin to understand why someone would value one area of their life above another, and likewise, others may not understand why your goals are the way they are.
There are so many elements that factor into how we decide what we consider important, with some traits playing a bigger role than we might think, like our intelligence.
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Sometimes it feels like our brains can get the better of us, especially in the world of romance. We overthink things, worry that we want too much, or look too far ahead and assume the worst. Due to our analytical minds, we find it hard to really put ourselves out there, choosing to find comfort in being single instead.
And that works for some people, which is great! But for others, that comfort is just a mask for their true desires, burying the wish for closeness under independence.
If you resonate with that perspective, then know that you aren't alone. Not only that, but your preference to remain single due to your overactive brain is actually an indicator that you're a cut above the rest, as there's a link between high intelligence and remaining single.
That's right! A 2017 study found a number of links between those with high intelligence scorings and a number of facets regarding love, which included their penchant for remaining single longer than their lower-scoring peers.
What is it about being smart that can cause people to choose to ride solo? It's largely due to some traits that others seem unable to keep up with. Learning about these traits and attaining a greater understanding of the correlation between intelligence and singleness can help provide a better understanding of the choices we make in pursuit of companionship, so here they are.
Having high standards and selectivity is perhaps the biggest and most obvious reason that those with high intelligence tend to remain single longer. Intelligent people possess a strong self-awareness that allows them to understand clearly what they want and need in a partner, along with their own values, aims, and standards. Thanks to this, they're confident enough to not settle for someone who isn't intellectually compatible, which in turn creates a prolonged singleness.
You might note pretty quickly that the traits that keep intelligent people from finding suitable partners aren't bad traits at all! They're just things that create a bit of a divide between them and those around them, which can make things a little difficult.
Individuals who are dedicated to their own self-improvement are driven, ambitious, and open-minded, often focusing on their own career, educational, or personal development goals. Though their dedication to their self-actualization process is admirable, this prioritization of ambitions can bring about a difficulty or hesitation in committing to another in a devoted relationship.
They should not forget, however, that taking the time to invest in a strong partnership can bring about wonderful benefits that can enhance all facets of their lives, from greater personal growth to professional acceleration. It's important to follow your goals, but don't ignore the social aspect of it all either.
Highly intelligent individuals have a lot to offer in the way of direction, analysis, and intellectual stimulation. But such aptitudes, when translated into the romantic realm, can cause difficulties in connecting on a deeper level and enjoying fulfilling relationships, as only thinking analytically disconnects us from our emotions.
Being clever is an attractive quality to many people, but for some, it can create an inability to relate with someone who does not share a similar thought process. If you find yourself in this situation, don't feel discouraged.Learning to think emotionally, leading with your heart instead of your head, can be a helpful way to build strong relationships both now and in the future.
Intelligence is invaluable, but there remains societal stigmas and false presumptions leading individuals to think that someone with great intelligence is socially awkward, devoid of emotions, or simply bogged down in intellectual pursuits. These misleading notions can damage relationships and create barriers of entry for highly intelligent individuals on the lookout for meaningful connections.
On top of this reality, it might be difficult to find a partner that is invested in embracing a potential partner's intellect, and as such, these knowledgeable minds may be single for that much longer.
Those with intelligent minds tend to prioritize independence over reliance on others, and they find the never-ending journey towards self-improvement to be the most noble cause. That type of drive is attractive to intelligent individuals who prioritize personal autonomy, striving for freedom to explore individual interests, hobbies, and intellectual pursuits, traits they also look for in a relationship.
However, their journey can also take away from their pursuit of companionship, as they'll be focusing too much on their own slot in life rather than opening their arms to new people, experiences, and perspectives. However, if proactive enough, they can also use this journey to work on the skills needed to foster a healthy relationship, one with deep emotional connection and excellent communication.
Calling yourself 'highly intelligent' might sound a little conceited, but there's no shame in it if you know it to be the truth. Or, perhaps, your chosen realm of intelligence is simply more niche than others, and you struggle to relate to them because of it. Either way, these can cause blockages and hesitations when meeting others, as you may be afraid to put any time or effort into making new connections lest they fizzle out with no returns.
Having superior intelligence can sometimes come with the cost of being single, and whether or not that's a worthy trade off is something you'll need to figure out for yourself. Do you value prioritizing your intelligence above community?
High intelligence on its own is not a trait that can be changed, but your attitude and expectation surrounding it can be.
It's also important to remember that intelligence is only one element of your life. You're much more beyond simply 'smart,' and focusing on those other areas to develop them further may be the key you're looking for when it comes to meeting other people on their level. Maybe you're very creative, and can meet other likeminded souls in that realm at local art classes. Perhaps you're also athletic or care deeply about your body, and can make friends in fitness groups or at the gym.
Every single person has a unique blend of layered traits that make up a beautiful personality. Each layer, each facet is worth exploring, both within yourself and those around you.
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